Last Night and Today...

I had the strangest feeling last night when I came home. Now, I admit, I might have been the warm wine but I honestly doubt it cause I only had a glass. When I usually walk the stares to my dorm I always look at the number of the building to make sure I don`t go into the wrong one cause i`ve lived in a few. I also did that last night and I made sure I was in the right place, but as I opened the door, I had the weird feeling that I didn`t belong here, that this is not the place that I come to every night and that I couldn`t recognize the furniture in the lobby or the doorman or the people on the hole…I just froze for a moment while everyone was looking strangely at me.

After getting into my room and sitting down on my bed I realized I had no idea how time had passed and how I got there. I felt tired, confused and unhappy as I did for the past few weeks…I know that there might be some things that i am never gonna be able to learn and some that will take me so much to master and a lot of time and effort has to be put into what I want for my future and I feel this constant pressure... I guess what I am trying to say is that I just miss my old self, the one that use to have so much fun and got to be responsible but had time for parties and friends, movies, music and sleep too…Now it seems like it`s all work and no fun. And I guess I have to make peace with that and try to manage my time as well as I can to make more room for the stuff that I used to and still like. So, on that note, today I made a plan to stay in bed and watch movies (there were some other interesting fun things in that plan, but I stuck to this one).